What’s stressing you?

 

Awhile back, the U.S. Surgeon General listed the most impactful psychological and social stressors in an adult’s life. How many apply to you?

 

      -          Breakup of intimate romantic relationships (including divorce)

-          Death of a family member or friend

-          Economic hardship

-          Racism and discrimination

-          Poor physical health

-          Accidental or intentional assaults on physical safety

-          Loss of job/loss of income

-          Disability

-          Addiction

-          Difficulties on the job

 

Separately, the Cleveland Clinic has published a similar list of major stressors, but also adds a few more: marriage, pregnancy, job change, deadlines, moving, confrontations, crowds, heavy traffic, legal problems and retirement.

 

Though pregnancy is mentioned, I note one item missing from both lists, surprisingly, is “becoming a parent.” I would put this No. 1 on my list of life stressors. I love being a parent and wouldn’t change my daughter for the world. Still, even the best children generate stress in a parent’s life. I also would add “attending and leaving college” and “purchasing and owning a home.”

 

Far be it from me to complain about any aspect of my life, but it seems there is no shortage of stress even in the best of times. For tips on how to identify and manage stress, get free advice from the Cleveland Clinic or the Mayo Clinic.

Twenty years now, where’d they go?

Awhile back, as I took a long drive to nowhere in particular, I rolled my windows down and turned my radio up, listening to Bob Seger belt out “Like A Rock.” This was way before Chevy co-opted the song and promptly played it into the ground.

 

It was a great song, but I smirked when Seger sang the lyric “Twenty years now, where’d they go?”

 

I was about 20 at the time and couldn’t fathom how 20 years could slip by anyone. Twenty minutes, yes. Twenty days, I guess. But 20 years? What was he smoking?

 

Fast forward to a few days ago. I sat down with a high school buddy of mine I hadn’t seen for awhile. We had traveled separately to Orlando for our 25-year high school reunion. We fell easily into the banter of good friends, just like at lunch in the high school cafeteria…. and my senior year didn’t seem that long ago. Felt like yesterday.

 

In fact, I had since graduated college, got married, had a baby, lost a parent, lived in three states, bought a house, worked for two decades in my career and lived a lifetime of experiences.

 

I couldn’t believe 25 years had passed.

 

Bob was right. My God, where’d they go?

Same company; new job? How to do it right.

In the working world, most of us know what to expect when accepting a promotion within the same department. But what are the nuances of transitioning into a different department within the same company?

 

I learned many of the answers first-hand. After 11 years of intense public relations work in my company’s corporate communications office, I transferred last year into our marketing department. I spent several months planning the move, which I requested to round out my work experience. Here are the top 10 things I’ve learned about making an intra-company move:

• Keep your outgoing supervisor informed – As a matter of courtesy, your supervisor should hear of any job change from you, not from human resources or someone else. At our initial meeting, I laid out my ideas for a new role and immediately offered to help hire and train my replacement before leaving. We also set a specific date for the official change.
• Tell your employees as soon as possible – Your employees should hear about this change from you, not from someone else. Be prepared to reassure them about life after you’re gone.
• Establish clear expectations with your new supervisor – Prior to my transition, I met with my new supervisor to review my new job description and specific objectives for me to achieve during my first year. By the official transfer date, my new supervisor and I had the same expectations about my new role.   
• Communicate to others within the company – It surprised me how many colleagues wanted to know details of my transition, including why I was moving and the nature of my new duties. Use their curiosity to inform them about your new role.
• Communicate externally – Tell your clients, vendors and any third parties who might be affected by your leaving about the change. They’ll appreciate a courtesy “heads up.’
• Assist former coworkers with the transition – Don’t forget about the coworkers you leave behind, particularly if they will be asked to assume some or all of your duties once you move. Offer to show them any tips you picked up.
• Help your replacement. You don’t want to be a ghost, constantly drifting in and out of your old department and boasting about how you used to do things. Instead, avail yourself to your replacement as he/she needs you and strive to help them succeed.
• Prepare yourself mentally –Expect to be a little anxious. Alexis de Tocqueville said “To change is to be vulnerable – and to be vulnerable is to be alive!”
• Hit the ground running – Demonstrate to new coworkers that you’re a willing and friendly co-worker.
• Have fun. Life is short, so enjoy it.

Now you’re ready for that big move.

 

 

 

Balancing work and family

I learned long ago that a career in public relations means I rarely work only 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. In addition to business hours, I work when I’m needed, which could be 4:30 a.m. or 11:00 p.m. (usually not the same day, though.) It’s been a far cry from what workers experience in the European Union, where – except for the United Kingdom – employees may work only up to 48 hours per week. In France, the law allows a maximum 35-hour workweek.

 

Despite my strong work ethic – and I enjoy my work – I’m a little protective of certain times of the week, particularly Saturday mornings, reserved for my 6-year-old daughter. We play hide-and-seek, have tea parties, read books, color and paint, try a new board game or just talk. So when a vendor asked me recently if I would be free Saturday morning for a breakfast meeting, I politely declined. An emergency? No problem. But a meeting? I finally drew the line on work’s encroachment into family time.

 

Years ago, working “after hours” to me meant knocking off around 7:00 p.m., heading home and calling it a night. Eventually, companies started issuing cell phones and providing Internet access to connect home computers with those at work. I began working firing off emails before bed, editing reports on Sunday night and answering my cell phone during dinner dates with my wife. Throughout each week, I now attend working lunches and trade association dinners. It seems if I have a free hour, somebody at work wants to fill it. Sure enough, my vendor reasoned recently that because people are so busy during the week that she’d begin to tap into Saturday mornings. It seems the fine art of balancing work and family, which is in the best interest of the employee and employer, is still lost on some folks.

 

I work gladly and tirelessly for my company, but a father and husband has to draw the line somewhere. Consider me permanently booked on Saturday mornings.